#2022 The One Thing I Can Control

I don’t want to be a victim.  I don’t want to blame my unhappiness on anyone or anything.  I want to master my thoughts.  Yogi understood this when he famously said, “Baseball is 90% mental, the other 50% is physical.”

When I was training with Eddie Hernandez, who was the 1995 WNBF World Champion (Overall) and the 1995 WNBF Pro Natural Universe Winner, we pushed beyond what we thought our physical limits were.  I will never forget Eddie spotting me on squats with a bar loaded up beyond what I could handle because Eddie said, “Your legs can do twice as much as you think they can. You just don’t know it.”  I decided to believe him.

When Roger Bannister broke the four-minute mile, the medical community believed it was physically impossible. They went on to lay out the reasons why a human was unequipped to achieve it. They even asserted that such intense exertion would cause a runner’s heart to explode, the human body to shut down, and the mind to break. Within a few years of Bannister’s amazing feat, a dozen other runners decided they could do it too and did.

When Michael Moorer was training for the heavyweight championship of the world, he told his trainer, Teddy Atlas, that he needed to take an upcoming Sunday off. Teddy looked at him and said:

” Michael, you are in peak physical condition, and one day off will not change that when you step into the ring with Evander, but when the fight gets tough, and it will, you will remember that you took this day off, and it will affect your attitude.  It will sap some of your confidence.  Physically, there will be no difference, but mentally you will know that you are the guy who took a day off from training.”

We do not believe what we see; we see what we believe.  Mental training is the most important training.

I remember working with someone who was obnoxious, sullen, and miserable. I couldn’t stand her!  She had a job integral to processing sales, and I was running sales, so, much to my chagrin, our paths crossed multiple times a day. I’d tried to be charming, pleasant, and personal.  I tried asking questions and telling stories, but none of it worked.  I was truly vexed.  I couldn’t avoid her, and I couldn’t abide her.

Then I read something (I wish I could remember where) that opened my mind like the door to a vault.  I literally pictured the big wheel turning and the heavy door of my forehead opening with a whoosh of air, revealing the answer inside. 

I had to decide to like her.

 I had to decide this regardless of her behavior. I had to decide that I genuinely liked her and find redeeming qualities to latch on to.

It was weird at first.  I KNEW I didn’t like her, but then I thought about it, I thought that if I could decide I didn’t like her, why couldn’t I decide I did?

After all, I hadn’t put a lot of thought into not liking her.  I’d just looked at her closed posture, unwelcoming face, and negative answers, and my brain said, “These things add up to someone you don’t like.” So I didn’t like her.  When I decided to like her, I noticed her guarded posture and felt sympathy for someone conditioned to be wary. I saw a face that couldn’t welcome me because it had been burned by too many rejections, and I heard those terse answers as something preventative.  She didn’t want to rain on my parade; she was seeing a storm coming and letting me know I needed an umbrella and galoshes.

Bringing myself to our interactions with a genuine liking for her changed the way she spoke to me. Or did it?  Maybe I just filtered it differently?

A year later, I experienced an outcome I would never have predicted.

She was very religious, and in her faith, there was an obscure holiday she celebrated at home with her family. She invited me to partake in that celebration. I was the only non-family member present.

This is not a testimonial to my charm or her forgiving nature.  It is a testimonial to the power of the mind. Nothing changed except my mind – then everything changed.

Whether it is your exercise routine, your job, your boss, your spouse, your living circumstances, or your beliefs surrounding your ability to learn.  If you change your mind, you change your outcomes. It applies EVERYWHERE.

My life emanates outward from my thoughts.

This is why I have a motto.  This is why I begin the day with written intention and gratitude. They are reminders and conditioners.

It’s too easy to blame my bad mood on traffic. It’s satisfying to believe that you are the problem and are interfering with my happiness.

‍ ‍ BUT

You can’t outsource happiness or satisfaction.  The only thing we can control is our thoughts, and our thoughts then control our experiences.

Change your thoughts; change your life.

Own Your Sales Gene…