#1049 Dedicated to the very wise, Joe Sciame: Wisdom from Socrates, Swift and Cialdini

In the early 1700s, Jonathan Swift wrote, “It is useless to try to reason a man out of something he was never reasoned into.” That quote speaks to me about the emotional component of persuasion. There are times when facts are convincing; for example, I don’t have to touch the shiny wall when I can read the “wet paint” sign.

In human interaction, however, I don’t know if people understand how using facts is often the least effective way to persuade another. Facts offered as irrefutable often work against the fact quoter. In Dr. Robert Cialdini’s seminal book, Influence, he captures this notion perfectly. “When people are given a piece of information, they immediately become less likely to accept it if they view it as a part of an effort to persuade them.”

So what does that mean to us in our selling lives? It means that if I tell my client that all the homes in the area are selling above asking due to an inventory shortage, she instantly has doubts. Her mind is churning with thoughts like, “All of the homes? I doubt that. I’ll have to look that up myself.” And, “OK, I get it; he’s trying to get me to bump up my offer to make an easy sale and commission.” What her mind isn’t doing is accepting my statement as fact and moving toward the sale because of this new knowledge.  

So what do we need to do? Ask questions and listen. Folks are much more likely to accept a fact if they get to it on their own.  

Asking my client questions about her home shopping experience or the experience her friends recently shared may prompt her to ask me about my experience selling homes.  

This isn’t just for sales professionals. We are all selling all day long. Statistically, non-salespeople spend over 40% of their time trying to get others to part with money and resources to achieve an objective. That’s selling – persuading – convincing. Socrates is famous for using questions to teach. He didn’t drill his pupils with facts. He asked leading questions knowing the conclusions they would eventually draw. Allowing people to arrive at their own conclusions, which you know to be true, is done via questions, not statements.

My friend Joe embodies this philosophy. He is constantly curious about others and always leads with questions about how he can help. Then he listens with rapt attention and acts. I’m sure this innate curiosity and genuine desire to help has a lot to do with why Joe has risen to the top of every organization that is blessed to have him as a member.

Own Your Sales Gene…