Halftime Locker Room Adjustments
July marks the halfway point in the year. How’s it going? Are you having fun? Do you smile a lot? Are you able to pursue the things you want in life?
Things happen. People get sick, lose jobs, sustain injuries, bury loved ones, suffer material and financial losses, and fall out with friends and family. A few weeks ago, I offered you OMEJAR to look at these happenings with an understanding of the emotional regulation we can muster.
Beyond dealing with difficulties in varying degrees, there is the daily practice of happiness.
Happiness is an inside job. I know this because I have met happy people who suffer from health problems. I’ve met happy people who have very little in the way of material things, and, of course, I’ve met miserable millionaires.
If you had two fires burning side by side and kept adding dry wood to one but not the other, what would happen?
Happiness and misery are those fires. Misery, for whatever reason, seems to have a fresh stack of logs sitting next to it, ready to be fed, while the happiness fire waits for us to scour the forest looking for dry wood.
You know that expression “stop and smell the roses”? Take it literally. That’s a log for your happiness fire.
Stopping to smell the roses is akin to taking a moment in the grocery store to smile at a baby. It’s lingering to watch a hummingbird or a goldfinch. Dry wood comes from calling a parent, a sibling, or a friend to say hi. It comes from seeking delights as we go through our days. The sound of tree frogs at dusk is a delight, and so is a few minutes spent watching fireflies. The practice of noticing these things is a learnable skill that requires only your intention.
Waking up and deciding to smile a lot today feeds the fire. (and yes, that is a decision you can make in advance)
It’s halftime, and if you haven’t had a wonderful first half, it’s time to make adjustments. I offer this because I think we have more control than we sometimes think. We aren’t victims. Yes, things happen – horrible things happen, and in the face of those atrocities, we can decide to feed the other fire.
Happiness is not a passive pursuit. It’s a conscious effort to manage our emotional bank account. We need to be parsimonious with expenditures on insult and injury, and spend like drunken sailors when we find small delights.
It isn’t easy, but it’s doable. You will find what you’re looking for. You just need to walk past that convenient wood pile stacked up right next to camp and venture out into the big woods where Mother Nature has a limitless supply waiting for you to gather it up.