#2046 Yes, I admit it, I’m Judgemental

I’m judgey as hell. I see mediocrity, hear excuses, and show very little empathy or understanding.

When I encounter a less-than-stellar performance, I think, “What’s between you and getting it done?”

This isn’t to say I’ve got it all together.  Millions of people kick my ass in every category of life. And yes, it is a contest. It’s always been a contest. We ran races in kindergarten, and throughout our youth we participated in spelling bees, math bees, debates, wrestling matches, and measured who sold the most Girl Scout cookies. We compete for dates, jobs, promotions, and attention.

Getting back to my lack of sympathy and judgment issue, I’m OK with it. If you come from a circumstance that disallows you the vision to know what could be possible, I have deep sympathy for you.  Without a window to possibility, you see only walls around you. If you’re physically or mentally incapable, you’ll find a champion in me.

If, however, you move through the world as a “have-not” among the “haves” and accept that, we have a problem.

So, to avoid coming across as a complete A-hole, my judgment is for people with longing and excuses.

Access to information is easier than ever.  With that in mind, the only thing keeping me from improving my lot is me. If this seems overly simple to you, that’s because it is.

If you’re hugely overweight and your health is threatened, you can look at healthier folks with longing and talk about your lifelong fat cells, heredity, and metabolism. You can talk about your work schedule and the scant nutrition available for a road warrior. You can talk about having a horrible commute that leaves zero time to exercise and convince yourself that your excuses are reasons.

If you’re in a dead-end job for a low wage, you can tell me how you need the gig, need the benefits, and aren’t trained to do anything that pays well. You will convince yourself your rationale is valid, and that envying those better off than you is as close as you will ever get to financial security.

If your marriage sucks and your kids disrespect you, you can point the finger at them all and tell me how your spouse doesn’t understand you and turned the kids against you.  You wrote the story, so why wouldn’t you believe it?

Good health, financial solvency, and strong relationships take effort, time, attention, and the belief that things can be better tomorrow than they are today and that you can affect that change.

If health is an issue and the commute and work hours are barriers, what do you do? You figure it out.

Don’t allow excuses; try something. Maybe it’s getting up 30 minutes earlier.  Maybe it’s a few hours spent on Sunday prepping meals for the week. Maybe it’s an accountability partner. Maybe it’s a little research into exercises to do at home with no equipment. This is my judgment. Don’t be stuck.  DO SOMETHING!

I’d rather drown in the surf than stand idly on the shore.

This isn't about being an Adonis, or as wealthy as Elon. It’s about getting out of your own way and relentlessly trying to become the version of you that you want to be by your standards. It’s about NEVER feeling like a victim.  It’s about never settling for the status quo when there is a reformation inside you.

I know some folks have advantages you don’t.  “Lucky Sperm” are out there with people who were born on third but think they hit a triple. I can’t compete with someone who has 50 million dollars in seed money from Daddy to start their business, but I don’t have to use that as an excuse for my lack of achievement.

Ed Agresta, a great motivational coach, used to say, “Perhaps you have the dreaded MOOMBA disease. My Only Obstacle May Be Attitude.”

I coach a lot of people.  Some are at level two in life and others at level ten. I love helping both of them. However, if one of them tells me why improvement is impossible for them, I’ll refund their money and cancel our contract before they finish the sentence.

What we each have is the ability to try, and while that effort ebbs and flows throughout our lives, remember - Dams are manmade, don’t slow the flow.