#1174 Finding the Balance

There was a time when I was all speed and no brakes. It was a time when getting out of a management meeting at 10 PM was a badge of honor, as was sending emails with the meeting wrap-up at 6 AM the following morning.

There was a time when leaving messages on weekends was an intentional attempt to showcase my work ethic and to stay one step ahead of the baying hounds who were relentless in their pursuit of upward mobility.

During this fearful time, I learned privately and showed up with answers that appeared to come from my brain unassisted and mature, as if they had not just arrived from some smart author’s work the night before. I hoarded information that I believed would distance me from the pack.

I lived too many days, fearing that somehow, I would be revealed as the shaky little boy playing above his head, I believed myself to be.

Fifteen years into my career, through much learning, introspection, and association with some great mentors, I learned that my work spoke for itself and that less (in terms of being noticed) could be more if it was exceptional. I learned that a lack of confidence drove my need to look like I was working harder than everyone else. I learned that those late-night meetings and off-hour messages made me feel important because I doubted I was important, and in fact, did not know what importance was.

Like the song “Looking for love in all the wrong places,” I misunderstood the meaning of relevance. Good work was and is important, but as Nietzsche said, “The end of a melody is not its goal.”

Twenty-five years ago, I learned to pump the brakes and slow down enough to see the flashing scenery. I made overt decisions to choose the best uses of time. I did not eschew making money, but I deliberately planned to limit work in favor of health, family, hobbies, and friends.

I’m very fortunate to have learned this before I lost too much. I know people who pursued hobbies and fun without regard to financial security, and they’re struggling today working at jobs they don’t like beyond the age they’d hoped to be done.

I know people who sought a big bank balance over anything else, and they’re struggling with health issues and estranged families.

I’m not inside either of their heads.  I don’t know if the 70-year-old hourly wage worker or the millionaire with shallow relationships and a tough time getting out of a chair are happy with their choices in their 30s and 40s. Maybe the money now or the fun then was worth the endgame they find themselves in today.

I can only speak for myself and a few close friends with similar mindsets to say that I’m grateful to have learned that balance was the key, that emphasizing work when that account was low and making massive deposits to health, family, and hobbies when it was adequate resulted in a lot of happiness for this old boy.

Own Your Sales Gene…