#1218 You CAN change (and live longer)
You CAN change (and live longer)
This one’s tough. I am an optimist so when I tell you that you can be more optimistic, it feels like I’m telling you how awesome I am and that you ought to be more like me. I am.
That feels very narcissistic so thankfully there is a lot of science to back it up.
Optimists are unrealistic and often wrong. Your garden variety pessimist is right more often so why am I advocating for optimism? Because it’s healthier.
Fries may taste better than fava beans, but a steady diet of Micky D’s will clog your arteries like an oversized truck overheating in the Holland tunnel.
It’s counterintuitive. When it comes to predictions, pessimists are more accurate. It’s called “depressive realism.” Optimists lie to themselves and then remember the outcomes differently, with less pain. Are we delusional? I guess so, but we’re talking about explanatory styles. That’s how Dr. Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, put it. We can explain things to ourselves in any way we choose. This is key. We CHOOSE the way we explain events to ourselves.
Pessimist self-talk explains events as personal, pervasive and permanent.
“Of course this happened to me, everything always go wrong. I’m doomed.”
I get it, you’re a realist and your predictions are often correct, so why pretend things are going to work out when you’re so sure they won’t?
Because optimists live longer and happier lives. Levels of optimism can even predict which survivors of cardiovascular disease are likely to have a second heart attack.
Studies show that expecting a positive outcome from negotiations makes a deal more likely to close and for the participants to be happy with the outcome.
Listen, you lie to yourself about all kinds of things. It’s called rationalizing. We do it to let ourselves off the hook for things we know aren’t quite right. So if you’re going to lie to yourself anyway, why not get healthier with it?
Optimists believe bad happenings are temporary and have a specific cause (it’s not universal) and the black cloud is passing though, not stuck above their head like a drawing in a comic strip.
“This too shall pass” is the mantra of optimists.
I’m not telling you to whistle past a graveyard or bounce around like Tigger and annoy everyone around you. What I am offering is based on the science of happiness. Our brains think they know what we want but our brains lie to us. Predicting personal, pervasive and permanent doom and gloom is one of those lies. So is believing that spending your paycheck on the lottery will make you rich. We need balance that leans toward good outcomes.
Unless you’re living in a bible story, the storm will pass in a day or three and the sun will shine again. Believe that. Believe it deep in your heart. Condition your mind to lessen the severity of bad outcomes and you will have fewer bad outcomes.
Own Your Sales Gene…