#1209 Imposter Syndrome Might be my Best Friend

Imposter syndrome might be my best friend.

In 1996, Andy Grove, CEO of Intel, wrote a book called Only the Paranoid Survive.  I must confess that I never read it, but the sentiment in the title was not lost on me.

I was tossed out of a private high school in my junior year, but I managed to graduate from the local public school on time. I didn't graduate from college. I did one year, failed miserably, quit, and joined the Navy.

When I got my first sales job, I kept waiting for them to realize they had made a mistake by hiring me.  Every other rep had a bachelor's degree and talked wistfully about the halcyon days of college, chilling out in their dorms, or partying with their sororities and fraternities.  I came straight from four years in the US Navy and could not relate.  No matter how many pranks they suffered to pledge a fraternity, it paled in comparison to what we endured in boot camp.

I knew I didn't fit in and was conscious that my mannerisms, vernacular, and references were very different than those of my educated teammates.  I was constantly afraid of being outed as the fraud I was sure I was. 

-My anxiety became fuel.

-I always felt like I was in a "come from behind" competition

-If they started at 9:00, I began at 7:30. 

-When they went to lunch, I made calls. 

-When they left their territories at 3:00 to get back to the office, I stayed out until there were no more offices open where I could pitch my products.

Before this first sales job, I was never a hard worker.  (My high school record will bear that out), But the extra work I did in my first sales job became the ballast that kept me from sinking right out of port. I didn't have the background the other salespeople had.  I had no point of reference.  I knew I was fighting with one hand tied behind my back, so I had to swing the other hand more often and with more ferocity than my contemporaries.

When I got my first opportunity to lead a team, it was the same. I thought everyone I hired would replace me.  They were all educated and came from "good families" with successful parents or siblings who had made their mark in business.  My family was all laborers, civil servants, or… 

Again, I played on the only string I had, work. They were smarter, better dressed, and had a legacy of business success with mentors surrounding them at family barbeques.  I felt less-than, so I hid my roots and doubled down on learning and work.

I read everything I could find about business, sales, and communication.  I ordered audio programs that turned my vehicle into a rolling university and took seminars and classes trying to catch up.

Imposter syndrome drove me. I tried harder and worked longer to try to outrun my past and stay even with people I perceived as advantaged.  I kept thinking that if they only knew, they'd replace me, so I pressed hard to get better, so they'd never look too deep.

I've had a decent amount of business success.  Certainly, more than the priest who expelled me would have predicted.

Today I hear a lot about imposter syndrome and how to be kinder to oneself and shush that voice that tells you you're not good enough.

I get it.  I certainly don't want people to beat themselves up, but I have to say that in my experience, imposter syndrome was the driving force behind my success.

I would not have worked nearly as hard for the promise of gain.  It was the fear of loss that drove me. It was the fearful glance over my shoulder that drove me to increase the distance between the professional me and the me I knew from the neighborhood; the me I hoped they'd never discover.

 It was the desire to become better, to compete with the advantaged, that got me up earlier and working later.  This is tortoise-and-the-hare stuff. I struggle with the new psychology's abundance of self-soothing "me" time.  I think fear and self-doubt are great motivators.

I don't advocate self-loathing, and I am no fan of constantly playing the comparison game and losing. I don't want you to run yourself down and create a belief that you aren't good enough. I never thought that.  When I was living with impostor syndrome, I always thought I wasn't good enough…YET.

A healthy amount of doubt and striving to be my ideal self is motivating and yields better results than complacency or silver spooning.

There is a lot of "lucky sperm" out there—folks who were born into families of means and opportunities. Many of them, despite their advantage, languished. An unused muscle will atrophy.

 It seems to me that success requires a bit of productive dissatisfaction.

Coming from behind, seeing the pack ahead of you, is an excellent formula for betterment and success. Tempered, of course, by accepting and appreciating where we are while we continue to aim for what we want.

What do you think?

Own Your Sales Gene…