#1201 Connections are beautiful
FIRST OFF - MOM IS HOME AND DOING WELL. THANK YOU TO ALL WHO EMAILED, TEXTED, AND CALLED. YOUR SUPPORT MEANT A LOT
"The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance—it is the illusion of knowledge". Daniel J. Boorstin
It takes (at least for me) a lot of practice to let go of my impression of things. It is important to size up situations and people, but hanging on to that sizing up can be an error.
We're human-we make judgements. For example, did you know that 32% of American adults have tattoos and that several studies show that many Americans associate tattoos with promiscuity, deviant behavior, incompetence, dishonesty, and criminality? One hundred years ago, tattoos were worn by a different group of folks than those who wear them now, yet some of these associations still exist.
Don't get too attached to your impressions. It's limiting in the way Boorstin speaks of it, and it's limiting in terms of personal connection.
How many talented people have been underdeveloped because possible mentors had a preconceived negative bias?
How many interesting conversations were missed because of a hair color, skin color, garment choice, or hairstyle?
One of my favorite conversational gambits is "Really - tell me more about that."
I find that a compliment followed by a question followed by "tell me more" lights up pathways that would have been dark to me. And in doing this, I learn. And even if I don't learn, I get into high-value conversations with people who are often overlooked.
Boorstin was speaking of discovery and intellectual pursuits. I want to bring his philosophy into my everyday life. The man with the neck tattoo picking up the garbage in the hospital room turned out to be an aspiring poet. The woman who volunteered at the front desk was retired and had lost her mate. The guy in the hospital coffee shop appeared to have some neurodiverse issues. He wouldn't look up when taking my order or handing me my coffee. I saw his name on his tag and thanked him, using his name. The next morning, when I remembered his name and greeted him as soon as I walked into the shop, he made eye contact and smiled.
A few days and personal greetings later, I learned that he wants to work with animals.
I can't say that I walked away from any of these conversations with some enlightening, practical knowledge. Still, I can say that each of us, me and each of those acquaintances, walked a little lighter and smiled a little brighter after we'd taken the time to stop and consider one another as more than just the shell each of us presents to the world. We connected as humans, and you know, there is a severe shortage of that in the world today.