Frank Somma

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#1099 Show me your company, and I’ll tell you who you are

My Mom used that expression whenever she saw me hanging out with the neighborhood riff-raff. 

It was an expression that grated on my nerves. 

Only later in life did I understand the need to curate my relationships.

Over the past two weeks, I’ve written about self-examination. I believe that the constant and never-ending study of one’s values and the application of those values is essential to a life well-lived. 

But equally as important are our associations. If you want to live a significant and virtuous life, it is essential to consider who you spend time with. Do their values, habits, and behaviors elevate yours or reinforce some of the less appealing practices you’d like to leave behind?  

There’s a good reason parolees are not allowed to associate with known criminals.

“Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in,” Michael Corleone.

I find it hard enough to maintain constant vigilance regarding my personal development goals without having to fight against the negative influence of folks who are otherwise aligned.

I intentionally hang with people who share a similar philosophy so I can occasionally let go of the helm without drifting off course.

The key word is intentional. I have intentionally maintained friendships with quality people. I have also continued to loosen ties with people who are unavoidably in my life but need to be reduced to bit parts.

To be remembered (should you desire) as John Johnston of last week’s message was, relegating and culling associations is just as important as seeking and nurturing empowering ones.