#868 Happy Father's Day!
Happy Father's Day! What's the definition of a father? Yes, biology defines it as one who fathers a child, but you know that's not what I'm leading to here.
Recently, while speaking to a young Dad, I had the opportunity to share a "Frankie Fact." Frankie facts are adamantine principles of life that are undeniable…FOR ME.
Frankie facts are not necessarily true for others, but they are governing principles for me. Things like saying hello first and my belief that I create the weather; that the climate that surrounds me, rain or shine, is fabricated by my response to the world. Anyway, this guy's son was erupting in a tantrum he said, "What can you expect; terrible twos."
"Don't buy into that nonsense" I said. "Let other people's kids have terrible twos, you just have a two-year-old who has an issue at this moment."
Frankie Fact: Buying in creates the reality. Identifying the "terrible twos" exacerbates and excuses the occasional tantrums.
The man also has a newborn daughter and, later, when I commented on what a beautiful baby she is, he said, "Yeah, it's hard to imagine that someday she's gonna hate me."
I said, "No, she's not. Let your friends tell you how much their kids hate them, but that's not how it was in my house, and it doesn't have to be that way in yours." We went on to talk about some examples of teen and dad interactions in my attempt to allow my hindsight to be his foresight.
Frankie Fact: You create your reality. You shape your family. You can expect more. It takes focus and attention, but there is no natural law that says all teenagers will hate their parents.
Believing that they will hate you and excusing every boundary test and disrespect because of that belief will absolutely create the conventional reality.
I know that some outcomes are out of my control. I know there are outside influences. I've seen some very strong and loving families lose a teenager to bad friends, lapsed judgment or to various addictions. I understand it isn't all within our control but if frosts my butt to see young parents excuse bad behavior out of hand because someone said "Terrible twos" or She's fourteen, what can you expect."
I don't know what you can expect, with your kids, or your life, but I can guarantee you this, whatever it is will have a lot to do with what you get.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY
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