#659 I’ve Failed…Again

Posted by frank August - 3 - 2015 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

This week I failed.  I got two good runs in but that’s where it ends.  Zero gym time.  Zero machines, Zero weightlifting.  I didn’t do a single sit up or leg raise.  So here I am on Sunday night, planning my week and sitting (almost drowning!) in the depth of my failure.  I’ll sit in it a bit more and allow it to engulf me; just enough to sicken me sufficiently to rebound this week.  I won’t let it define me.  I’m not a loser.  I won’t allow it to dominate my mood.  I’ll just suck enough of the foul air of it to make me want to bust through the cloud in to clearer skies.

That’s the great thing about life if you don’t let it get you down.  You can lay your head on the pillow tonight filled with angst, fear or failure and decide that tomorrow will be NONE of the same.  And guess what?  If it doesn’t work tomorrow you can lay your head on the pillow again, feely badly, and decide that the next tomorrow will be different, yet again. 

2015 Motto:  “Life is choice.  Your very next moment can be different if you choose it to be”

#658 Don’t be that Guy!

Posted by frank July - 27 - 2015 - Monday ADD COMMENTS











Don’t be that guy. Whether it      is with your family, friends, business associates or customers, don’t be      that guy.  Don’t be the guy who says      buy today or the price goes away; unless it really does.  There are legitimate sales out there      with beginnings and endings.   Don’t      be the guy who bully’s people in to decisions because he senses a      weakness.  Eventually you will find      your self avoided.  Don’t be that      guy who lies to get what he wants, truth has a way of coming to      light.  You may get away with it a      few times but eventually a life built of manipulative lies will      crumble.  Don’t be that guy with an      answer for everything.  Sometimes,      the answer should come from the questioner and I don’t know is perfectly      acceptable when YOU DON’T KNOW!       Break the mold.  Listen more      than you speak.  Ask questions      designed to get people to open up and get to the core of the issue.  Be sincerely interested in helping and      always present yourself in that light.       There are people you cannot help.       So walk away with a promise to stay in touch and to be available if      things should change.  What kind of      a selling career do you think you will build if the sales you make are      good for you but not for your client?       What kind of life do you think you will build if all of your      machinations are designed with only you in mind?  On both counts I can tell you,      certainly, you will build a life of shallow, short term bursts of pleasure      without ever reaching that deep quiet space of contentment.  Don’t be that guy

2015 Motto:  “Life is choice.  Your very next moment can be different if you choose it to be”

#657 Chi Causa del suo male piage se stesso

Posted by frank July - 20 - 2015 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

Chi causa del suo male piage se stesso.  This literally translates to The ones that cause their own hurt cry for themselves.

One day as I was sitting in my kitchen I heard a fly buzzing at the window.  He would fly about for a moment and then try to fly through the glass to the world he saw outside.  Then, he’d bump up against it a few times, fly around the window a bit more and then fly straight into the glass pane again.  Bzzzzz bump, Bzzzzz bump over and over until, eventually, you vacuum up his  carcass from the window sill.  What the fly didn’t realize was that if he just backed up a bit to see the bigger picture, the sliding door, a few feet away from that window, was ajar and offered an easy escape route to the outside.  He never saw it.  Instead he just kept buzzing around the window and trying to fly through the glass over and over and would continue that until he fell, exhausted  on the sill no doubt crying over his own hurt.  He wouldn’t lay there and think, Why didn’t a try another route?  He wouldn’t lay there and think, why didn’t I look for a mentor or a helping hand?  (Actually he wouldn’t lie there and think at all, he’s a freakin fly!)  But if he could think, he would probably be thinking of some version of Life sucks and then you die.  Or why do things like this always happen to me?  Or why are all THOSE flies out there enjoying dog poop and road kill while I’m stuck on this window sill waiting to be vacuumed up with the dead bee next me!
Since he couldn’t see the solution or ask for guidance, I got up and ushered him with my hand away from the window and a few feet to the right and he flew out to freedom.
Don’t get vacuumed up with the rest of the corpses of failure who blame the impenetrable window but never see the door and worse, don’t look outside of themselves for a helping hand.  Chi causa del suo male piage se stesso.
2015 Motto:  “Life is choice.  Your very next moment can be different if you choose it to be”

Drop me naked in the Desert and I’ll Sell Something is the title of the new sales  CD I am scheduled to record this month.  Here is an excerpt from the introduction.  Let me know what you think.

 I HATE the stereotyping of salespeople.  Think of it this way; think of any ethnic stereotyping.  Is it fair?  Are there entire groups of people who are abusive, rude, dirty, careless, slow, devious, or untrustworthy just because they share a particular ancestry, religion, skin tone, or dress?  And if you’re one of those people who smirks and says ‘stereotypes are based on something…” then bring my CD back to where you bought it and get a refund because you are too ignorant to understand the rest of it.

I enjoyed Tommy-Boy as much as the next guy but to say that Chris Farley as Tommy-Boy is a depiction of a professional salesperson is like saying that Joe Pesce in My Cousin Vinny is an accurate reflection of a professional criminal attorney.  Sales has become a dirty word in our society with  too many caricatures depicting slimy salespeople lying and manipulating other people for their own gain and the other person’s loss.  That’s not sales.  In my world, the one I am in and I want to give you the keys to with this recording, selling is helping and while I will focus on the profession of selling, make no mistake; sales skills are among the most important skills you can possess in life, period.  Your vet sells you on using heartworm meds for your dog, the defense lawyer sells the innocence of his client to the jury,  the president sells healthcare reform to the population, and the parent sells his child on the importance of reading. Selling is universal and really is the oldest profession .

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

2015 Motto:  “Life is choice.  Your very next moment can be different if you choose it to be”

#655 Who are you Fooling?

Posted by frank July - 6 - 2015 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

On Thursday, the train was over-crowded and I was not able to get in to the quiet car as I usually do.  Though I was trying to read, I had trouble blocking out the conversation a couple of twenty somethings were carrying on right behind me.  Evidently they were both newly minted financial salespeople and were serving their apprenticeship at a large institution.  Their job is, alternately, to do research on the computer and to make calls to find perspective new clients for the tenured brokers at the firm.

“Dude, I let the guy’s voice mail play and then listen to the dead air for like 5 minutes without leaving a message so I don’t have to make another call!  Phil has no idea.  He just sees a phone on my ear and thinks I’m banging out a million calls.”  Then the other kid chimed in; “Ha that’s great!  John is so lame I’m sitting there reading the sports section of The Wall Street Journal but he sees Wall Street Journal on my screen and thinks I’m working!”

I know that these kids get paid commission for finding business.  So, really, who are they fooling?

Time and time again I see people doing the least they can to sustain their jobs rather than doing more than is asked of them.  The great Jim Rohn talked about our value to the marketplace.  He said, “You don’t make $15.00 an hour.  You aren’t paid for the hour; you’re paid for the value you bring for that hour.”

 Is it possible to bring enough value to be worth $150, $1,500 or $15,000 for that same hour?  Of course it is and it begins by embracing that philosophy.  You don’t get paid for the time.  You get paid for the value you give during that time.

2015 Motto:  “Life is choice.  Your very next moment can be different if you choose it to be”

#654 Yelling and Demanding will get results

Posted by frank June - 29 - 2015 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

Demands will get you results.  In fact, I have witnessed people scrambling around, trying to tidy up and get things right because Mr. Demanding is looming close by.

They run, they quiver, they angst, they do whatever they can to avoid his wrath. 

I think it’s easy to be Mr. D.  I think it’s lazy to be Mr. D.  I think it’s thoughtless and selfish to be Mr. D., though I admit, it can be an effective way to get immediate results.

I can certainly call a business or grab an employee and blast them for whatever bad service they’ve rendered and threaten to throw them out if it isn’t resolved in 10 minutes and they will react quickly.

 I can also lead with a compliment, listen with understanding, and get a good result for now and a reputation that will get me better long-term service albeit not as quickly.  Sometimes, the person giving the service comes from a place that requires me to have a firmer hand and sometimes I have to part company with that service or person but I find that out by having the patience to try to lead with kindness first.

If you put a cajoler head to head with a demander the demander will get faster results 99% of the time.  People look to avoid pain quickly. Knowing this Machiavellians will say that this is the course to follow and, for immediate results, I cannot argue with them.  However as I look back on my life and picture a long trail of interactions I have had I don’t want to see it strewn with the dismembered bodies of those I have sacrificed to get my results.

2015Motto…“Life is choice.  Your very next moment can be different if you choose it to be”

#653 I’ll Shop Elswhere

Posted by frank June - 22 - 2015 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

This message is especially dedicated to the superior customer service providers at Neighbors Home Care!

On Thursday night I walked in to a convenience store.  I grabbed a bottle of water and a pack of gum and went to the counter.  I put my items down and put a twenty dollar bill beside them and waited.  The ass, sorry, I mean, guy, behind the counter sat there and stared in to his phone like he would find the meaning of life there.  I waited about 20 seconds (an eternity in a good customer service world) then reached over and grabbed my twenty.  My movement broke his hypnosis and he tore himself away from his phone and looked at me with incredulity.  I said, You didn’t even acknowledge me!   Then I pocketed my twenty and left.  I will NEVER enter that establishment again.

A couple of weeks ago I called a pool supply store with a question about saltwater conversions.  They told me my question would be best handled by the service manager.  I said, OK is he available?  The guy on the phone said , No.  But give me your number and someone will call you back later or in a few days.  I swear to you, that is an exact quote.  I will never do business with that pool store and, for the record, I never did get a call back.

I’ve made inquiries for services with various business people  who aren’t available at the moment I call and have  had numerous receptionists  say, Sorry, she isn’t in right now.  Can you call back? 

No, I don’t think I will.


There are choices.  In my small town there are many pizza places, bagel stores, law offices, lawn people, realtors, painters, vets, coffee shops and drug stores.  It isn’t just proximity that makes me favor one over another. 

2015Motto…“Life is choice.  Your very next moment can be different if you choose it to be”


#652 How to Skin a Bear

Posted by frank June - 15 - 2015 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

I was in Northern Saskatchewan at a hunting camp when I learned what absolute focus is.

Johnny Beaver-Eye was skinning a bear.  It was September and the air was warm.  Johnny is a local native and was our guide.  Johnny has hunted and fished full time for his entire life and knew the thousands of acres of woods and water better than I know my own kitchen.  He was a marvel of competency and his expertise, along with the company of some good friends, (and good scotch) made this the most memorable adventure of my life.

As I said, Johnny was skinning a bear.  Not in high end butchering facility; Johnny was lakeside, on the bare ground with just his skinning knife.  Think about what happens at your barbeque when the food is uncovered and flies, bees, and various other winged insects find it.  Now multiply that by 10,000 and picture the swarm around this 250 pounds of raw meat and the man astride it. 

Johnny skinned the bear.  He had bees on him, black flies biting him, ants crawling all over him and flies and mosquitos, whirl-pooling around his head and Johnny skinned the bear.

I watched him for over an hour and never saw him, swat at anything, ask for cover, brush a bug off his skin or complain.  It was all part of the environment and so was he.  He understood that to complete the task he had to coexist with swarming bugs and that swearing about it or focusing on trying to make it stop would not change a thing; so he skinned the bear.  With complete focus, expertise, and a calm that was other-worldly, he skinned the bear.

I don’t know what bear you have to skin today or what bugs will be biting you, crawling on you or buzzing around your ears, but I can tell you that with focus and concentration on the task rather than the pests, you too will skin your bear.

2015Motto…“Life is choice.  Your very next moment can be different if you choose it to be”


Yo! I got Issues #651

Posted by frank June - 8 - 2015 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

Max worked for me for several years.  He was a talented salesperson and we had a good run together but here is what I remember most about Max.  It seemed like once a week or so he’d walk into my office and, with his basso profondo voice he’d say,  “Yo Somms, I got issues.” Max was never one to hold back.  If he didn’t like a thing, he’d let you know.  I have to say that although Max was a bit of a prickly pear, the concept of releasing angst can be a good one.  I am not flip-flopping on my “no complaining” stance, instead I want to draw a lesson from Max and offer you challenge for today. You have issues with someone.  Don’t try to tell me you don’t.  Here is what I want you to do today.  Confront him or her but don’t attack.  Instead confess your feelings rationally and without blame.  Give your interpretation of the incident and how it has effected you.  Ask what you may have done to provoke them in to acting that way toward you and really listen.  You can even say that you may have misinterpreted the situation but you just want to clear the air.   I promise you that if you do this, in this way, YOU will feel 100% better.  You will have more energy and sleep better.  Bad feelings are like a fire inside of you and time ignored just fans the flames.  Let it out an put it out! Max did not have this formula down and often got the poor result you get when you blame someone else and attack them for your feelings but the concept is sound and if you express the way I am suggesting, it will bring relief

2015Motto…“Life is choice.  Your very next moment can be different if you choose it to be”


#650 You could be Dead

Posted by frank June - 1 - 2015 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

Life is a terminal condition.  Eventually, we all die.  Thankfully that isn’t the first thought we have upon awakening each day but still, it isn’t a bad thought to have if you can use it to fuel you.

If you have been reading me for any time at all you know I am not a huge fan of complaining .  I’m a “lemonade out of lemons” kind of guy.  Certainly I feel the same things the complainers do and I have  and will continue to complain from time to time but where I have gotten to now is this.  I feel it, I think about it, I think about what I can do about it, and I do it.  If I cant change it,(like the weather) I figure out what I can like about it.  I find no comfort in complaining.

Evidently, for some people, it does help to articulate it over and over.  I know some highly successful people who complain incessantly.  My school of thought isn’t the only one it’s just mine.  I choose to move to the lemonade part quickly rather than bemoaning my lemons over and over and telling them I wish they were cherries or oranges.

A quote that rings in my ears every time I complain is one that is attributed to Maya Angelou’s grandmother.  Maya said that when people complained to her grandma, her grandma would wait until the complainer had moved out of earshot and then say to Maya, “Sister, there are people who went to sleep all over the world last night, rich and poor, white and black, and they will never wake up again.  Those dead folks would give anything for just five minutes of the weather that person was grumbling about so watch yourself about complaining.  What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it and if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.  But don’t complain.”

The part that strikes me most is, of course, the thought of living with what I am complaining about versus not living…

2015Motto…“Life is choice.  Your very next moment can be different if you choose it to be”