#738 Failure

Posted by frank November - 28 - 2016 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

A big hello and thank you to all of the subscribers from Shirvanian Exit Realty. I am really grateful for every opportunity I get to be among you.

So what is failure? Failure is knowing that you didn’t do the things you should have and could have done to ensure the success of project, event or job. It isn’t what others identify later that you could have done better or differently. It isn’t what you learn afterward and identify as something you should have done sooner.

It’s what you know in your gut you should have done better or more of and only you know it. Only you know if your effort matched your capabilities.

There is no shortage of critics and Monday morning quarterbacks to tell you what went wrong but failure can only be judged by you.

2016 Motto: Notice what’s good and raise a flag over it!

#737 Giving Thanks

Posted by frank November - 21 - 2016 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

Gratitude is easy to pass up. My great friend and hunting partner Steve, (I call him Sensei) says two things to me that remind me of this. In the beginning of the season, on our first hunt together, he’ll turn to me and say, “Frankie; how many Octobers do we have left? Let’s enjoy this one.” He also says, at various times, “Remember, these are the good ole days we’ll be reminiscing about 20 years from now.”

Gratitude is easy to miss. In the midst of the daily grind, kid issues, job stress, car problems, finances and world strife, it’s tough to count your blessings unless you make it a habit to do so daily.

Waking up vs. not waking up is a good place to start. The cemetery is filled with people who, given the opportunity, would take your job stress and financial issues and trade places in a second!

As of today, I will begin my day by thinking of what I’m grateful for. My trigger will be the shower. As soon as I hear that water running, I will note three things I am grateful to have.

Will you join me? What will your trigger be? I’d love to hear from you. You can post your comments or email me privately.

2016 Motto: Notice what’s good and raise a flag over it!

#736 Words

Posted by frank November - 14 - 2016 - Monday 1 COMMENT

I’m a word guy. It all started when I was about 8 or 10. I was on the bus and saw a poster for the move Billy Jack. It said, the movie would emulate the runaway success of Walking Tall. I had no idea what emulate meant so I went home to look it up. When I read the definition I realized why imitate, though it could have worked in that poster, was not the word for the job.

Last week, on election night, the play-by-play announcers kept referring to various states as “bellwether” states, which means, essentially, as they go others will follow but I wondered how many of them knew the origin of the word. The bellwether is the castrated goat with a bell around his neck that leads the flock. Can you imagine Stephanopoulos saying, “Florida is like the castrated goat here, ringing a bell for other states to follow.”

Words are really important in terms of matching moods too. If you refer to incidents in catastrophic language, two things happen. First, people tend to disbelieve you over time (The sky is falling!) and second you can infuse too much emotion in to a minor issue. This happens within and without. Overstating a problem with a group gets everyone wound up and focused, perhaps, in the wrong direction. This is especially true for people in leadership positions.

Within us, the words we use change everything. For example, when something annoys you, if you start using language, overstating how grievous the annoyance is, you will blow it out of proportion. If on the other hand instead of saying “I AM REALLY, REALLY, PISSED OFF AT THIS!!! You consciously tempered your internal dialog and said, “This has me a bit annoyed” You would actually take some of the power away from the issue.

2016 Motto: Notice what’s good and raise a flag over it

#735 Be the change

Posted by frank November - 7 - 2016 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

The problem is always out there isn’t it? It’s easy to see the changes everyone else needs to make; right?

Here’s what I think. This is partly true. There are people I interact with that really should be better. Better communicators, more considerate, better listeners, and generally more genial and understanding. The problem with this line of thinking is that it leaves me at the mercy of those intemperate souls. While I may be able to advise some of them, fettling them is not my place. My place then, is to recognize, and adjust, rather than criticize and complain.

I want to be as authentic as I can and address issues but I want to disagree without being disagreeable. I want to think before I speak and, maybe, as Gandhi said, “Be the change I want to see.”

In the end I can only control me. If I want a positive outcome from a negative person its my job to figure out how to get that or to move on.
If I can do this with integrity, regardless of the outcome, I can still live with myself and maybe through my influence and attitude, I can affect some of that change I want to see.

2016 Motto: Notice what’s good and raise a flag over it!

#734 It is better to have loved

Posted by frank October - 31 - 2016 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

I’ll admit it. I get burned sometimes but I would rather trust and be disappointed once in a while than mistrust and be miserable all of the time.
I’m not naïve. I don’t plunk my money down for three-card monte on 42nd street or ask a vagrant to watch my bags while I go get the car.

I do, however, believe in people. I do believe in second chances.

I have had my car stolen by an employee with a drug problem. I have loaned money that wasn’t returned. I’ve invested heavily in developing people and then lost them.
Despite this I still think it is better to believe in the inherent goodness of people and, I believe that his approach actually brings that goodness out.

I have also loaned money and made a huge difference for someone who kept the lights on and paid me back on time and I have invested in people who have given me a lifetime of joy and I can tell you that my fulfillment box is much larger than my disappointment box. The thing is, I could not have the fulfillment without the disappointment and I’m good with that.

Philosophically it is like the old adage, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Have a great week!

2016 Motto: Notice what’s good and raise a flag over it!

#733 Don’t Settle

Posted by admin October - 25 - 2016 - Tuesday ADD COMMENTS

I was away for a few days and the computer died, so, I am a day late…so sorry but here we go…

Dr. Phil is credited with saying, “The only difference between you and someone you envy is that you settled for less.”
I find these to be very powerful words. It has me running a new mantra in my head; ”Settle for more!”
I found it unsettling (pun intended) to think I’d settled for less in anything. But I have. In some things it’s cool but in others, not so cool.
It has me reexamining certain areas of my life to see if I can settle for more.
This isn’t intended to make you feel badly about anything you may have settled for I just think it’s a great way to think about those things.
I have always tried to live by these words from Emerson , “Envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide” and so I have held envy at bay and tried really hard to be myself. What the Dr. Phil quote does for me is have me take a look at areas of my life I am dissatisfied with, examine my choices and think, “I settled for this.” That fuels me to NOT SETTLE any longer.
I hope it fuels you too.
2016 Motto: Notice what’s good and raise a flag over it!

#732 My Uncle Tom Passed Away

Posted by frank October - 17 - 2016 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

My Godfather, Tom Goodrich (my mom’s brother) recently passed away. His memorial service was on Saturday. My Uncle Tom was a tremendous influence on me, and the primary reason I chose the career I did. He was a great man and a great friend. I will miss our talks and his advice but mostly I will miss how he made me feel. He truly believed I could do anything.

I am not using this space today to eulogize my uncle, rather to remind us all about what matters.

My Uncle Tom didn’t have a formal education but went on to become a very successful businessman in corporate America and later in his own ventures.
At the luncheon following the church, guests were invited to share memories of my uncle and there was a great slide show taking us, on the journey of his life.

No one told a story about his wealth. No one told a story about his businesses. There were no pictures of him at his desk or presiding over a board meeting.
The stories were about what he did for people; personal favors and advice and how he made them feel. The pictures were of him with his wife, children and grandchildren or with friends and other family. They were of him fishing, and vacationing or enjoying a good meal with people he loved.

In the end, family time is what we remember. Friends, love, and conviviality is what makes a life worthwhile.

2016 Motto: Notice what’s good and raise a flag over it!

#731 You know and that’s all that counts

Posted by admin October - 10 - 2016 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

• You went to a networking breakfast at 7:00AM so you arrived in work at 915. Do your coworkers see the 9:15 arrival and think you’re late and lazy?
• You contribute 10% of your gross earnings per year to charity; does your neighbor talk badly about you because he doesn’t know the extent of your giving and you declined to contribute to the local fundraiser?

In a leadership role you have to over communicate what is behind your decisions because if you don’t, your people will make up their own versions. In life, you have to have thicker skin. Gossip and innuendo will always be there. Gossips love to think they know your story and love to share their version with whoever will listen.
So let me ask you this regarding your truths; if you know, and God knows, Why do you care what anyone else believes?
2016 Motto: Notice what’s good and raise a flag over it!

#730 Life Lessons

Posted by admin October - 3 - 2016 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

The best lesson to learn is that there are always more lessons to learn.
At 22 I knew EVERYTHING. In the decades since, I have been humbled by lessons too numerous to count. Life lessons continue to come my way and, I’m sure, will continue to come my way for the rest of my life. Even the dullest dolt will inevitably be schooled to some degree by life but I am also a big believer in intentional, lifelong, learning. Whether it be professional courses, a new skill, a new language or new field of study; learning equals growth and if you aren’t growing you’re dying.
So grab that ukulele, welding torch, paint palette, or Rosetta stone course. Sign up for the gardening, yoga or meditation program being offered locally and challenge your mind to learn something new. Studies show you will live a longer and happier life if you do.
2016 Motto Notice what’s good and raise a flag over it!

#729 Authentic Leadership

Posted by admin September - 26 - 2016 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

Finding people who can manage processes, and wring details out of a plan isn’t really hard. Even finding folks who can direct and measure activity is easy. Further up the ladder, people with a point of view and a willingness to express it talk over each other in meetings daily and high level managers willing to direct and enforce are plentiful.
But when you want loyalty and trust; when you want ideas and good judgment; when you want a team that will work when you aren’t looking you need authenticity in your leadership.
Being authentic doesn’t mean giving in to moods and emotions and laying it off to “That’s who I am.” Authenticity is born from good trusting relationships and good trusting relationships are the result of good, empathic listening.
Speed, judgment, preconception and distraction are your enemies if authenticity is your objective.
2016 Motto Notice what’s good and raise a flag over it!”