#799 YOU are responsible

Posted by frank February - 12 - 2018 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

As a professional salesperson I understand and accept this maxim entirely:
Most people have a tough time swallowing this one. Most people would rather say, “She misunderstood me” or “that’s not what I meant” or “they just don’t get it.”
All of those statements may be true at any given time and…SO WHAT!?
You entered the encounter to make a point. Does being misunderstood serve you? Does identifying that you have been misunderstood serve you? Perhaps it helps to assuage your feeling of failure when you relate it to someone else emphasizing how right and sound and obviously misunderstood you were but it’s still a failure. Justifying it may help you feel a bit better in the moment but what did it do for you really? Didn’t you go into the encounter with a purpose and didn’t you fail at that purpose because you were misunderstood? Wasn’t success in the encounter what you really wanted?
This is why I say you are responsible for the results of your encounters; because you want to be. If you want to impress a point upon someone else and they misunderstand you the end result is that you have not made your point. You have not done what you set out to do. Blaming the other person won’t change that. What I propose is that you take this responsibility seriously and try a different route to make your point when you are misunderstood. If that doesn’t work you try yet another route and you take the responsibility of refashioning your point until you feel as though the understanding has been gained.
To the unskilled this refashioning can come across as badgering or nagging. Wearing a person down until they yell “Uncle!” and give in to your way but that isn’t what I am talking about nor am I advocating an endless diatribe or twisting the same thing around ten different ways until you’ve exhausted yourself and your listener. I’m proposing you bring to bear the skills inherent with having a highly developed sales gene, and increase dramatically the odds of being understood more quickly.
Own your sales gene…Spike sales, Build great relationships, Cement long term loyalty

#798 Selling is not Telling

Posted by frank February - 5 - 2018 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

I went to school for NLP; Nuero-lingustic programming. It is a communication science that studies, at a micro level, how we humans communicate. NLP teaches calibration; noticing and considering the myriad cues in face to face communication available to you if only you know they are there.
This science, by the way, was what made Tony Robbins skyrocket in to the aristocracy of motivational speaking. Tony was an early adopter of this NLP and used it to effectively help people get unstuck.
As professional salespeople the very essence of what we do depends a lot on our ability to understand people and gain rapport. Some of us do this far better than others.
Let me tell you a story about what prompted me to enroll in an NLP practitioner course and get certified in NLP. My friend and business associate Jim and I were walking in to our office after a meeting outside. We were engaged in a conversation as we passed through the door. The receptionist was sitting there and we both said “Hi Michelle”, Michelle said hello back and we walked up the stairs to our offices. Midway up the flight Jim looked at me and said; “Whoa I have to remember to speak with Michelle later and find out what’s wrong.” “What’s wrong?” I said. “Yeah, she obviously has something bad going on in her life.” I scratched my head. “And you know that because we said hello and she said hello back? What are you Kreskin?” “Frank, didn’t you see her? It was pouring out f her.” I was seriously taken back. I looked back at our encounter in my mind’s eye and didn’t see anything that would indicate to me that Michelle was having trouble. I took the hello as just what it was, a hello, and moved on from there.
As it turned out, Jim was, of course, correct. Michelle had a major family issue that was weighing heavily on her. What I learned is that Jim, and a select few others out there, are naturally tuned in like this. They pick up on the subtle clues that are there for any of us to see. Part of that came from “being where he was”. In other words I said hello in passing, Jimmy said hello and hung there for a beat. He was focused on the person and the greeting. He was mindful of what he was doing, not just shooting a greeting out because there was a warm body we had to pass by to get to our office. Learning to see what Jim saw, and beyond became an obsession for me. I enrolled in NLP and have continued that line of study ever since.
Selling isn’t telling. It’s listening, understanding, gaining rapport and earning trust.
Own your sales gene…
Spike sales. Build great relationships. Cement long term loyalty.

#797 I am an Expert

Posted by frank January - 29 - 2018 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

I hate the stereotyping of salespeople. Think of it like ethnic stereotyping. Is it fair? Can we paint an entire group of people with one brush because they share a particular ancestry, religion, skin tone or preference? The other part of stereotyping that bothers me is that it is almost always negative and this is especially true in the stereotyping for salespeople. Listen, I loved the movie, in Tommy Boy as much as the next guy but to say that Chris Farley, playing Tommy was an accurate portrayal of a professional salesperson is like saying that Joe Pesce, in My Cousin Vinny, was am accurate portrayal of a criminal defense attorney.
I love sales. I love the science of it. I love the process. I love meeting people and learning about their businesses. I love hearing about how they got started or what their particular problems (I don’t say challenges) are now. I love connecting with them on a personal level, listening and seeking common ground to stand on. I love connecting them with other people I know for services they’ve expressed a need for. I like to be depended on and trusted as a fellow business associate and a great resource with sound judgement. I like to bury the typical sales stereotype and any possible doubt about my sincerity a little deeper every time I come through with what I said I would.
I love all of this because that is who and what I am. I am a professional salesperson; an expert; a trusted resource; a problem solver. I’m a person you go to for a favor. I’m the one you reach out to when you need my service but even more I am the one you think of even when you need other services. I am a professional salesperson. I am seen as connected, networked; in touch, plugged in and resourceful.
I’ve studied my craft. I have honed my skills. I am deft at taking someone from antagonist to adherent or converting a detractor in to a defender. I do this by employing all that I have learned about connecting with people because at its core; the very root of selling is connecting. I speak about this and teach this because I’m not just in sales…I’m INTO sales and know I can help others who are strugging to develop their sales gene too

#796 Science Fact

Posted by frank January - 22 - 2018 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

Life is never about what happens to us and all about how we respond. What I’ve learned over time is that a positive outlook is a choice. In any moment I can choose my response to events around me and that choice, and the many others I make during the day, determines the temperature of my day.
I recently read some research from Dr. Marcial Losada, a Brazilian social scientist who uses mathematical models and complexity theory to analyze human behavior.
She and her team had people record positive and negative emotions for four weeks then calculated the ratios of positive to negative emotions. She compared those ratios with the participant’s scores on a 33 item measurement of overall wellbeing she had recorded from them prior. Here is what she found:
People with 1 to 1 positive to negative emotions were no better off, in terms of overall wellbeing, than those who were predominantly negative; both were languishing
More surprising was people who had a 2 to 1 positive to negative ratio were also no happier than those whose negative exceeded their positive but once the balance hit 3 to 1, meaning one instance of anger, guilt or embarrassment, to one incident of joy, kindness, or gratitude, the wellbeing scores reflected significantly happier people.
The ratios and wellbeing scores are proven science so why not take advantage of that? Why not contrive to have as many positive emotions as possible to be sure to hit the 3 to 1?
My suggestion is to begin a gratitude journal. Begin each day by writing down one or two things you’re grateful for. It could be the love of your pet or the hot water in your shower. It can be gratitude for being able to shovel the snow or for the neighbor who cleared off your car for you. Just think of something to be grateful for as you begin your day and get that ratio started in the right direction to be sure YOU are headed in the right direction.
2018 Motto: Be nice; people like that…

#795 It’s not an accident

Posted by frank January - 15 - 2018 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

First of all please take a moment to remember a great American on his day. The Reverend, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

I spoke with the CEO last week whose company does over one hundred million dollars a year in revenue and employs 300+ people. He built his company to that level from a humble starting point of two million a year and 8 employees. During the conversation he mentioned two things that should not have surprised me.
1. He is a constant reader of self-help and business books and spoke, excitedly, about the one he is currently reading
2. He has a professional coach.
The man is wildly successful by most standards. He is rich. He is respected in his business community. He has a wonderful family. He is a generous philanthropist and he is a hell of a lot of fun to be around.
Why not sit atop the mountain he has created and chill? Why not look at his accomplishments and feel as though he knows what he’s doing? Why is he looking for answers in books and seeking betterment and accountability through coaching?
Because that’s how he got there in the first place. Success isn’t happenstance; it’s intentional.
There are certainly some accidental and undeserved successes you can point out to me, but by and large, people who focus on personal development and improvement tend to develop and improve better than those who don’t. Could it really be that simple?

Motto: Be nice; people like that…

#794 Emotional Choice

Posted by frank January - 8 - 2018 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

I sometimes infuriate people close to me, (family, friends, and coworkers). I know I do it but I have trouble figuring out how not to do it.
I’ve become somewhat of a stoic. Not when it comes to joy or tragedy. My emotional range seems OK there but not so much when it comes to perceived injustice or injury.
When I am presented by a coworker or friend with a purported social or employment crime I have a tendency to think of excuses that may apply to the accused or sometimes I say nothing choosing instead to think (evidently too long) before I weigh in. What these folks want is for me to instantly match their anger to validate their rightness.
The crimes they report seem obvious as hell to them and they look at me as though I am catatonic from shock therapy or something because I refuse to immediately take their point of view as fact and escalate my words, pitch and posture to match theirs.
This is intentional and has taken decades of practice. (Not the aggravating them part, the stoicism part.)
It’s been my experience that words, pitch and posture often escalate what may be a relatively minor incident. Think, “Killing an ant with a sledgehammer.”
I believe that the words and the emotional charge of the words actually shape the outcome of the situation and I often choose to slow down and react quietly in an attempt to deescalate it.
Try this as an illustration. If something goes against my grain and I shout “THAT REALLY EFFING PISSES MY OFF! Aren’t I likely to become angrier than if I had said, “That has me a bit miffed.” Doesn’t my reaction somewhat shape the actual event or at least my memory of it?
Isn’t it the same thing when I am presented with an egregious infraction suffered by my coworker? If I jump into their pool of perceived perdition, am I not throwing gas on the fire?
My choice is to wade into that pool slowly, checking the depth and temperature as I go, in an effort to bring ballast and perspective instead of grabbing a torch to join the mob.

2018 Motto: Be nice…people like that.

#793 Happy New Year

Posted by frank January - 2 - 2018 - Tuesday ADD COMMENTS

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I write this message each week in the hopes that I can touch a nerve, spark a flame, or inspire an idea. I imagine you taking precious time out of your day to read it and try really hard to make it worth that time. I really appreciate that you’ve allowed me to do this for over 15 years now.
As you will see my new motto is in play and I can tell you my 2018 goals are finally set.
If you haven’t crafted a motto yet, Jump on that now!
If you haven’t set your goals yet here is a quick tip. Divide them in to four categories; personal development, business, finance and material things. Personal development is things like learning a language, or visiting your mom often or losing 5lbs. Business is everything career related and finance can be paying off debt or saving a particular sum or upping your charitable donations. Material is, of course, things you want this year, like that new boat or a ski vacation.
I write them down and leave them to marinate for a day or two and then revisit them. I do this three times until I am fairly certain I have a list that is worth trading a year of my life for and then I commit.
I don’t always accomplish them all but I do OK.
Again, thank you for allowing me to offer up my writing and for all of the great feedback I get from so many of you each week.
I wish you all a healthy, happy and successful 2018!
2018 Motto Be nice; People like that…

#792 Be NIce

Posted by frank December - 18 - 2017 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

Once again, THANK YOU to all of my attentive attendees at CRD. You all are wonderful to work with!
It is time to develop your motto for 2018. You guys see motto at the bottom of my signature right? This idea was given to me by my cousin Steve who is a GIANT in personal development, counseling and coaching.
Think about the year to come and what your intention is for the year or a just a vibe you want to put out there and try to craft a motto that either helps you to stay on track or tells other people what you’re about.
Another motto I am considering for this year is; “Be nice. People like that.”
In my speaking and training business I talk and teach about professional selling. At the root of professional selling is rapport. People do business with people they like and people do business with people they trust. So here’s a news flash…people tend to like and trust nice people!
Being nice is not as easy as it sounds. Sure we are all capable of flashing a smile when we meet someone new but how about being nice when you want to be nasty?
On Friday night I called in a pizza order for Deb and me. I ordered the pizza with extra cheese and sausage. Somehow the guy who answered the phone heard “extra sauce” which, if you think about it, makes absolutely no sense.
When I got to the counter and the mistake was realized the girl there told me to sit down and the correct pie would be out in 15 minutes.
My brain said, “OK which one of these a-holes back there with you took the order for EXTRA SAUCE? Let’s have him pick up my tab. Or at least let me ask him what the hell he was thinking. How many people order soggy pizza?
My brain then did a quick recalculation and realized the girl wasn’t at fault and didn’t deserve any attitude from me. Friday is a busy night in the pizza business and this place was hopping. Getting loud wasn’t going to get my pizza and sooner, in fact, being nasty would probably be a good incentive for an intentional delay; so, I smiled at her, brought up my feelings of compassion for how busy she was and THANKED HER for taking care of me. She literally beamed at me. I have my Kindle app on the phone so I sat and read and before I knew it I was heading out with my corrected pie.
For many years I practiced the alternative to this. I bitched loudly about the incorrect order, checked on the new one every five minutes and glared at the counter girl as I waited. I thought I was insuring that they took me seriously. What I was insuring was that I was a bigger a-hole than the guy who thought extra sauce made sense on a pizza.
Be nice…people like that.
2017 motto Daily disciplines create desired outcomes

# 791 The more you do the more you get

Posted by frank December - 11 - 2017 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

First of all, it is time to develop your motto for 2018. Think about the year to come and what your intention is for the year and try to craft a motto that either helps you to stay on track or tells other people what you’re about.
One of the mottos I am trying out is the subject of today’s thought:
With very few exceptions, the more you do the more you get.
When Nike was in the brainstorming meeting, coming up with a tag line, I don’t believe anyone threw “Just think about it for a while” on the table to be considered.
As you know I preach personal responsibility. I believe strongly that your past does not equal your future and you are where you are because of the accumulated decisions YOU have made throughout your lifetime.
Shakespeare said “Action is eloquent”
But Frank! I can’t take action because I don’t know what to do!
Action can be finding a mentor. Action can be finding a coach. Action can be looking up your subject on YouTube. Action can be making your bed or tossing out the jar of Nutella, or applying online, or making the call, or writing the note, or touring the gym, or scheduling the physical, or buying the book. Action can be smiling when you see him or taking her hand or asking questions and actively listening to the answers.
With very few exceptions, the more you do the more you get.
This includes, love, health, goodwill, friends, knowledge, appreciation, money & peace of mind.
Without action it’s Groundhog Day every day and you’re Bill Murray.
Nothing changes until something changes and YOU are in charge.
Take this very moment and commit to an action you need to take today.
2017 motto Daily disciplines create desired outcomes

#790 Don’t follow your passion

Posted by frank December - 4 - 2017 - Monday ADD COMMENTS

One of the recurring themes I hear espoused is “Follow your passion.” I think that’s crappy advice. The reality for me is this; I don’t follow my passion, I bring it. Passion comes from within. Maybe I’m a store clerk but my passion for people elevates me to a place where I am sought out by customers and relied upon by my coworkers.
One of, if not. THE greatest man of my lifetime was Martin Luther King Jr. He echoed this sentiment when he said, “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”
Whatever it is you are doing now, bring your passion to it. Own it. Put your indelible mark upon it. Bring your own creativity to it. Be known for it. Don’t punch a clock and drift through your days dreaming about following your passion someday. Bring it today.
2017 Motto: Daily disciplines create desired outcomes.

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